Or maybe the death was expected, but your child is having a hard time coping with the loss?

Has your child lost a parent or a sibling, and they don’t seem affected at all?

The way children mourn is very different from how adults mourn. Some children don’t seem to mourn the loss of a close family member. Some children become depressed and even suicidal.

Most children do not have much experience with death, and so they may cry at the funeral because they see other people crying, but deep down, they cannot grasp that the person is permanently gone. They may have the sense that the deceased person is gone, but can return or be visited when the need arises. This is normal behavior and thinking, but caregivers may need to expect a delayed grief process. Also, children can grieve a loss years after the loss occurred as they continue to grow and develop, thus coming to understand the loss of that person in different ways.

If your child is experiencing a delayed grief process, it is up to the parent to decide if therapy is necessary or not. Some children may benefit from therapy– especially if it is a close family member who passed away, as the loss will be more acutely felt sooner rather than later. Also, having a therapist in place for the child may be recommended if the child’s parent(s) is so deep in mourning, they are unable to care for and/or support the child– which results in two losses for the child: the decedent and the parent(s). However, other children experience a delayed grief process, but feel fully supported by their family, and may not need a therapist.

Some children experience the death of a loved one and they become depressed– a shell of themselves or not acting like they normally do. Some children may try to protect their caregivers from their feelings, and may act and seem unbothered by the loss, but their behaviors at school or a disclosure to a teacher, friend, or family member reveals their hidden feelings. Some children express thoughts of suicide as they seek to be reunified with their deceased loved one. These symptoms are alarming for parents, and seeking therapeutic support for your child is recommended.

However your child is dealing with their grief, I can help. Through play therapy, I can help your child learn more about and start expressing their thoughts and feelings, develop coping skills if they find themselves feeling troubled, and I can facilitate interventions to help your child and even your family move forward in the grief process. It would be an honor to be apart of your child’s healing journey.